


The Adventure that is School

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Humanstuck, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Schoolstuck, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-19 07:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adventure. Adventure was what Jake English could smell. He didn’t believe it at first, but there was a certain smell that occurs when adrenaline is being sent around the human body. It’s not a terrible smell, but it’s one that English had grown accustomed to.</p><p>You may be wondering what this boy with messy hair was doing. You may expect him to be travelling abroad, capturing creatures of various sizes, or shooting practice, not that he needed it. When it came to shooting guns, you wouldn’t be able to find someone better than this boy. He may not look dangerous, but he most definitely could be. Anyways, back to the topic at hand. What was this boy doing? Well, he wasn’t doing anything that was particularly dangerous. In fact, all the guesses that you had were wrong. He had a more mundane task to complete, and this task would take several years. He was to attend school, and at that, for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So It Begins

Adventure. Adventure was what Jake English could smell. He didn’t believe it at first, but there was a certain smell that occurs when adrenaline is being sent around the human body. It’s not a terrible smell, but it’s one that English had grown accustomed to.

You may be wondering what this boy with messy hair was doing. You may expect him to be travelling abroad, capturing creatures of various sizes, or shooting practice, not that he needed it. When it came to shooting guns, you wouldn’t be able to find someone better than this boy. He may not look dangerous, but he most definitely could be. Anyways, back to the topic at hand. What was this boy doing? Well, he wasn’t doing anything that was particularly dangerous. In fact, all the guesses that you had were wrong. He had a more mundane task to complete, and this task would take several years. He was to attend school, and at that, for the first time.

I know what you are thinking. Why would he be sensing adventure around him for something as simple as going to school? Well, you’d better pay attention, because that will all be explained in due time, my friend. Why don’t we learn more about this boy in the mean time? Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

Jake English is a somewhat tall person from a small island in the Pacific Ocean. He’s the sort who likes to and is good at shooting guns, as aforementioned. Jake also enjoys skulls from some reason, and likes every movie that he watches, no matter how terrible it really is. He has a quite eloquent way of speaking that can be seen by some people as, well, silly. The most outstanding feature of this young man is his sense of adventure. He loves to venture into the unknown. This is why school is such an adventure to him. Even though he is 15, he has never had public education because he never needed to. He always did well with homeschool everything changed though, when his adventuring partner, his grandmother, got very ill and would no longer be able to participate in long expeditions any more. This brought about the need for Jake to go into public school, as you can clearly see.

Now that you know about Jake English, why don’t we go on to what he is doing at this moment in time? It seems that he is getting ready for his first day of school. He’s got his backpack filled with odds and ends that are sure to help him in school. There were was a book that he would read if he had the chance, a couple pencils, a binder filled with paper, and his trusty phone. He would carry all of his computers on him, but that may seem like overkill for the task that was school. 

“Jake, it’s time to eat breakfast! You wouldn’t want to be late for school, now would you?” Grandma called.

“No, I wouldn’t. Thank you.” English called back. If you are wondering what this young man spoke, he spoke with a voice that carries, though can be as sweet as a songbird if he so pleases. I bet you can tell which type of voice he had at that moment in time.

After breakfast was completed, Jake gave his grandma a kiss on the cheek like a gentleman, and walked out the door to where his bus stop would be. There were many kids that were already there. The most noticeable of these kids was one that was a bit taller than Jake. He had light blonde hair that would put an anime character’s hair to shame, and sunglasses in a V-shape that covered the top half of his face. He wore black skinny jeans and a shirt with an orange hat on it. His face wore a smirk that could make a girl swoon. This was merely an observation made by Jake, meaning that he did not think that this person was attractive to him. _Okay, maybe he is attractive, but I don’t like him. I don’t even know his name._ Jake looked away from this mysterious person and turned his attention to the bus that had just arrived. He decided earlier that he would sit in the front of the bus. He heard from his cousin, Jade, that many rude people sat in the back of the bus, so he wanted to avoid this group of hooligans for the time being. 

Jake slipped into his seat, placing his backpack in the space next to him. Surely no one would want to sit next to him anyways, seeing as he was the new kid. He would simply wait until his cousin, Jade, showed up on the bus. She had promised Jake that She would sit on the bus with him for the first few days of school, until he got a friend that he could sit with. If no one wanted to sit with him, she could have her friend, Rose, sit in the seat behind them and they could talk about things. Jake, though nervous about meeting new people, thought that this was a very kind thing for his cousin to do.

The trip on the bus was mostly boring at first. There was only so much scenery that Jake could take before he started to get a bit antsy. Finally, the bus arrived at Jade’s bus stop, and she got on the bus. Jake took the backpack from the seat next to him and placing it on his lap. “Top of the morning Jade, and dare I say, you look as lovely as ever.” The two teenagers hugged. “So how have you been, cousin of mine? Anything interesting happen as of late?”

“To tell you the truth, not really. I mean school’s just now going to get started, so it’s not like there really is a lot that could have happened already. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on what happened. How about you? Has anything cool happened to you?”

Jake only has to think for a moment before his mind wanders to the boy that he saw earlier at his bus stop. He tells Jade about him, and all that he could notice from just being at his bus stop. Jake didn’t really know why he had asked about this mystery boy. To say truth, he did seem rather… captivating and dapper, yet at the same time, he had a quality that made him repulsive and disheveled. It was odd to meet someone that fit both of these descriptions. 

“Him?” Jade asked, pointing to the kid that sat in the back of the bus. He didn’t seem to be talking to anyone, holding his cool kid attitude. He did seem to notice Jake looking at him. He smirked, and then lifted his shades from his face for a moment to give Jake a wink. This action made Jake turn back around to face the front of the bus. His cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. “That’s Dirk Strider. As you can probably tell, he’s one of the popular kids in your year. He’s actually pretty smart. Good at programming robots and that sort of thing. I don’t know if he’s the type of person you’d want to hang out with, but whatever floats your boat.”

Jake quickly shook his head. “I do not want to hang out with that rapscallion, nor do I ever wish to. I'll keep safe away from him, my dear. No matter how 'cool' he acts, his personality is sure to be an utter stick up my ass. I won’t ride with him, that’s for sure.” When he realized what he said, his ears were tinged with red.

Jade laughed. “Suit yourself.”

\--

Jake had arrived to his first class in is first year of high school. For most of the other students in his year, it would have been their third. Class was strange to say the least. There were obviously cliques that were already made, and it would be difficult to get into any of the cliques. He had met a couple people that he thought would make good friends, and they all seemed to be in the same friend group. It was pure luck that Jade was in this group. Jake decided to try and sit with these people at lunch, to see what they were like.

In this group, there were a total of seven people in different grades. There was Jade, of course. As the lunch period went on, names and personalities of these people were revealed. There was Karkat. Jake got this name right away, as this fellow was yelling about various topics with Gamzee. Now Gamzee was an easy-going person, who had some sort of addiction to Faygo. Jake didn’t even know that those were still sold. He hadn’t seen them around. There was Rose and Kanaya, who seemed to be in some sort of liking each other thing, which was good for them. They looked absolutely adorable. There was Dave, who was obviously one of the cool kids, what with his cool kid aviators and blond hair. Then there was John, who looked a bit like Jake, if he were being honest. It was a bit weird, but he suppose that it doesn’t really doesn’t matter, because Jake have the potential to be friends with him. John understands that there are many movies that are merely underappreciated. 

These people fit together in a sort of weird way. They have a wide range of interests, yet nothing deters them from continuing to be friends. It’s as if why you do doesn’t necessarily change your personality and who you make friends with. This is interesting to Jake, and he hopes to learn more about these people in the next year.

\--

Roll call. That is what is currently happening in Jake’s English class. See what I did there? No, but it really is his English class. _It’s really strange. This is the third class that I’ve had with that Dirk fellow that Jade and I were talking about on the bus today._ Jake noticed that Dirk was again looking at him in a strange way. _No, he’s probably not looking at me… He doesn’t even know my name, why would he be staring at someone he doesn’t know. Maybe he wishes to become friends… No, I mustn’t allow this. He’s probably just picking on the new kid, as Jade warned me about in my preparation for school. If I leave him alone, then he’ll leave me alone… right?_

After roll call, it was time to find out where everyone’s seats were. Jake, of course sat in front of the teacher’s desk. Great. Hopefully, the teacher wouldn’t make some stupid joke about how his last name is English. That’s not happened before, but Jake had thought of this possibility on the night before school. 

The seats were organized into rows, and it seems that luck was not on Jake’s side. Dirk, the closest thing that Jake had to an enemy, was sitting behind him, so he could pull all sorts of tomfoolery on him during class. Not to say that he necessarily would. He didn’t seem like a bad fellow; Jake just got a weird tingly feeling around Dirk, like there was a reason that they shouldn’t be friends. Jake tended to follow his gut instinct, as it has gotten him out of many nests of trouble in the past.

Jake felt a light tapping on the back of his neck during class. At first, he resisted the urge to turn around and smack the ninny who was doing the action. Once individual work had started, Jake had taken the opportunity to turn around and see who the devil fucking dickens was tapping the back of his neck. It was, of course, Dirk. Who else would it be? Dirk caught Jake looking at him on the bus; it only made sense that he would bother him. He might think that Jake was gay, and the man in question didn’t know the answer to that himself. He really never had time to think about this question to the extent that it should have been thought about, and he really didn’t think it mattered much. When it mattered, it was going to be figured out, but it didn’t matter now.

“Why were you poking the back of my neck?” Jake whispered in a demanding fashion. “It was very annoying, and you’d better explain yourself, mister!” 

Dirk laughed. _His laugh is sort of… interesting. Okay, maybe cute, in a platonic way._ “Whoa, don’t take it so personally. Besides, it’s you who was checking me out on the bus this morning. It’s the first day of school, and you’ve taken a liking to me.”

“I absolutely do not like you! How could I get suckered into liking someone as brash as you? I’d most definitely be in a thorough pickle.”

“The only pickle I’m sure you really care about is mine.” Dirk smirked, while Jake blushed. “Don’t deny it, you know it’s true.”

“Oh, for frigs flipping sakes. That is simply untrue, good fellow! Stop trying to prove that you have pilfered my attention!” 

“Whatever, dude. You’ll come around eventually. I can tell.” Dirk replied.

“That’s preposterous…” Jake mumbled. He turned back around to face the front of the classroom to complete his work. _I’m not going to fall for that malarkey…_

Class continued as it had in the classes that the ones that had preceded it. It was nice to notice the monotony of it, but Jake hoped that he wouldn’t get bored of school. He already missed adventures, and could barely handle being away. While Dirk was to drive Jake’s life catawampus, Jake was going to try to keep his life with as much order as he could.

\--

The end of the day arrived sooner that Jake had expected. He thought that school would monopolize most of his time, but he found that he would still have a lot of time to complete various tasks before he had to do go to sleep. Jake then remembered of his homework. Most of his classes required a form to be signed by a guardian. However, his English class required the rough draft of a paper to be written. Jake hardly had the patience for this sort of assignment, but knew he would have deal with this. 

Jake had gone to his locker. He was frustrated with this damned contraption. “Dag nab it!” Finally, he put his stuff down in defeat. He was He gave a yelp as someone wrapped his or her arms around his waist. Jake turned his head to see a smirk. “What the devil fucking dickens do you think you are doing, Strider?!”

“Awwww, the little dork knows who I am. How cute.” Dirk teased. Jake pursed his lips, and furrowed his eyebrows. Dirk then spun Jake around so that they were facing each other. The would-be anime character then put his arms on either side of English.

“I would really fucking appreciate it if you would not pin me against the wall!” Jake furiously spoke with conviction.

Dirk swung his arms down to his side, in a cool way, obviously. “Can I say your accent is the most adorable thing that I’ve heard? Maybe we can talk some time. I’ll see you around then.” The boy blew a kiss to Jake and walked away.

“That imbecile.” Jake muttered under his breath. He managed to open his locker, and gathered his things, and left for the bus stop. Fortunately, he did not run into Dirk in the halls. As he did in the morning, he sat in the front, and Jade sat in the seat next to him. 

“So how did the day go?” Jade asked. Jake explained everything that had happened regarding Jake. He talked about how he was bugged in his English class, and the intimate interaction that they ended up having in the hall. Jade giggled through this entire explanation. “Really? That all happened, and just because you glanced at him this morning on the bus?

“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I don’t even know anything about him, except that he is a bonehead, yet somehow… cool. I don’t understand how people can like him! He seems to just like messing with people.”

“Well, it’s true that he seems to be bothering you more than other people, but you’re also the only person he’s really done this to. I really don’t have any reason to why he’d be doing this. And you said he called the way you talk adorable?” Jade inquired.

“Yeah, and then when he left he blew me a kiss. I have no idea what this could mean.” Jake sighed. He really wanted to know why this boy was treating him in this manner. It really was unnecessary and annoying. _Don’t lie to yourself. You think it’s sort of adorable in a weird way._ Jake thought about the thought he just had, and realized the thought was extremely wrong. He did not think that Dirk was adorable, and he never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the first thing I've written for this site. Tell me what you think!


	2. The Story Continues

Over the next week, Jake had been ignored by Dirk. _Maybe he got the idea that I didn’t want to be friends with him_ , Jake thought. A week after their first meeting, however, Dirk decided to try and talk to him. The boy with the anime shades had been watching Jake. He began to notice smaller things about Jake. His little habits. These things made Dirk more susceptible to falling into some sort of crush. Someone might expect Dirk to turn his back on this crush, but he chose to embrace it. After all, it wasn’t every day you met someone who was half as adorable as this English guy, so Dirk figured he might as well go for it. See what happens.

Jake was standing at his bus stop as usual. Dirk decided to try and talk to him and learn more about this mysterious boy. He would of course have to turn on the patented Strider Swag, which Dirk only used for special people, and Jake was most definitely special in some way. Today, though it was a chilly day in September, Jake was wearing tan shorts, and a shirt with a green skull. Over the shirt was a jacket that matched the boy’s vibrant green eyes. _At least he had normal eyes. I’m stuck with weird orange eyes_ , Dirk thought. Of course, he didn’t show any emotion, because this would lead to a weakness being shown to people, which was the opposite of what Dirk wanted.

Dirk later walked up to Jake’s locker at the end of the day to try and talk to him. “Sup.”

“What do you want Strider? I thought you were done annoying me, but apparently I was wrong.” Jake frowned at the boy that was slightly taller than him.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing, of course.” Dirk smirked, waiting for a response.

“I’m fine, though I would be better if you stop the charades that you’ve got going on. It is getting very monotonous. I would really prefer that if you wanted to be one of my comrades, that you try to attempt friendship. Stop don’t pester me for one day and then ignore me for the next week. At least stay consistent, devils fucking dickens!”

“I got the vibe that you didn’t want me bothering you, so I didn’t. It’s just that simple.” Dirk stated matter-of-factly.

“What? You actually caught that hint and left me alone for a while. Dear lord, are you the same man that bugged me last week?”

Dirk smirked. “Yes, I can assure you that I am the same person. Nothing about me has changed, except of course the fact that I’m a week older. But other than that, I’m the same ironic kid that you saw before.”

“Yes, you say ironic, but what is so ironic about you?” Jake genuinely asks. “You just seem like a normal bloke to me. I can see why you might be cool or whatever, but I’m not sure if I would describe you as being ironic.”

“Well, Mr. English, let me educate you on the art of being ironic. Please note that this conversation may bleed into our bus ride, so I hope it’s alright with you if I sit with you on the bus. Firstly,” Dirk began, and continued to talk about all the intricacies of irony that few people actually knew. The conversation did end up having to go to the bus, so Dirk sat with Jake, leaving Jade to sit with one of her other friends. Jake decided that he should totally feel lucky knowing secrets that only the most elite of the elite knew. It was an interesting conversation, in that it was more like a monologue, and that Jake paid attention through the entire thing.

“So, that’s everything you need to know about irony ever,” Dirk completed.

“Wow! That’s a lot more complicated than I thought it would be!” Jake said. “How d’ya know all of this stuff?”

“I’m the master of irony, obviously,” Dirk said with a bit of mock arrogance that made Jake smile.

“You’re different from how I thought you would be originally.” The boy with green eyes said sort of quietly. He was looking outside the window at the scenery rather than at Dirk.

“Is this a good different or a bad different?” Dirk asked.

“Very good different. To be honest, I thought you were just a first class asshole trying to be rude to the new kid, but from what I’ve seen, by Jove, that isn’t you at all!”

Dirk laughed. “I promise I wouldn’t make fun of you. You’re too cute to make fun of anyways.”

“Oh, stop it, you. I’m not really cute. I mean, I’ve been told that by people, but I don’t believe any of them. I’ve seen cute people around here, and yet these people have come up to me, insisting that I’m the cutest thing they’ve seen. Some people say that they like my accent a lot. Even you said that, but I’m guessing you meant that in an ironic fashion. I’m sorry that you have had to endure my babbling.”

“S’alright. I actually think listening to your babbling would be a pretty sweet thing to do, we if you want, we can start like hanging out or something.”

Jake’s eyes lit up at the opportunity to gain a new friend. “Really? Aces! Thank you for inviting me to be one of your friends.”

“No prob, and to be honest,” Dirk leaned closer to Jake. “You’re a hell of a lot more interesting than any of the other kids I hang around.”

“That’s probably just the ol’ English Charm working on you.” Jake winked at Dirk, making his hands resemble the shape of two guns.

“Swoon! That move probably gets you all the ladies, doesn’t it?” Dirk laughed, showing what seemed like genuine emotion to Jake for the first time. Jake decided that Dirk’s laugh was something that he’d like to hear more of, and decided that he was glad that they were going to  
become friends. This would give him the opportunity to make Dirk laugh more.

“Hehe. That was the first time I’d done it to anyone at this school, actually. What about you? Have you got any secret moves that can make a girl excited?” Jake leaned forward. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”

“Nah, not really my style. None of the girls at this school are worth my time. They’re all pretty bland,” Dirk said in a sarcastic manner, to avoid revealing anything about this topic.

Jake playfully pushed Dirk a little bit when he said that. “That’s a large generalization, Dirk. I’ve made friends that are quite interesting at this school. I’m sure, if you’d like, you could come to sit at my lunch table or something.”

“Sure, I’ll sit with you, but there are some things I should get through with the people I sit with during lunch before I decide to sit with new people.” When Dirk saw the bit of concern that was on Jake’s face, he said, “Don’t worry, man. It’s whatever.”

“Oh. Okay!” The bus stopped near the two boys’ houses. “Gadzooks! We’re here, already. Must’ve take some time for you to explain the whole irony thing to me. I’ll talk to soon, I guess!”

“Later, bro.” Dirk called out as he went to his own house, and Jake could’ve sworn he felt something in his stomach. He didn’t know what it was, but it felt all weird, warm, and fluttery. _Maybe I’m starting to get sick or something_ , Jake thought.

\----

Dirk was feeling the same sort of feeling in his gut. He was feeling those things called emotions, and they were clearly for this English guy. He decided to talk to his bro about this boy. When he arrived at his house, Dave, his brother, was already there with his totally no homo friend, John (Seriously, they are totally in some sort of love thing or whatever). They were sitting on the couch starting to do their homework. The two got a ride from John’s dad, which is why they got there before Dirk. “Yo, Dave. Can I talk to you for a second? You don’t have to get up or anything, and you’ll probably tell John what I say anyways, so there’s no point in telling you separately.”

“Sure. What’s up? It must be important if you want to talk to me about it.” Dave inferred.

“Yes, dear Dave, it is. I need some advice.” Dirk announced. “It’s regarding this new kid that just moved here from what I’ve gathered. Completely adorable. I think I have the hots for him. You know, that same thing that you and your friend have going on.” Dirk teased the younger boys.

“Hmmm… Well, what can I say? I love me some Egderp.” Dave leaned over to John and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Who’s the lucky boy?”

“This guy’s named Jake English. He-” Dirk was cut off by John.

“I know him! He sits at our lunch table. He’s really nice, if a bit strange. Wait a second, he talked about how you bugged him on the first day of school.”

“Yeah, I did. I don’t really know how to talk to people.” Dirk admitted. “And I figured that no one would really mind if I was being childish in the way I talked to him, yeah yeah yeah, I was wrong. What are you gonna do about it? I’ve learned, alright?”

“Okay… But you better not hurt him in any way, or so help me, I’ll-“ John fumed, until being interrupted by Dave. (Seriously, they all can be rude at times.)

“My bro isn’t that sort of guy. He’s smarter than hurting someone intentionally, so it’s not gonna happen,” Dave defended.

“So what do I do?” Dirk asked. “I talked to him a bit more today, and he seemed a bit more relaxed.”

“Just continue talking to him, I guess. Not much else you can really do.” Dave said.

“Thanks. You guys can continue to make out or do whatever it was your were doing before I came into the room.”

\-----  
When Jake had gone home, he went to his room and plopped himself down onto the bean bag that he had. He wanted to think more about the whole Strider situation. It had been but a week since the incident had occurred, and suddenly, it’s like Dirk wants to be friends with him. It seemed nearly bipolar, but since this hadn’t happened to anyone before, as Jade said, it seemed unlikely that the young Dirk Strider actually was bipolar or with any other mental disorder that would cause this behavior. It would take time to see the true Dirk Strider, though English had the feeling that he caught a glimpse of that in the conversation that they were having on the bus. It seemed as though Dirk was genuine in his intentions to be friends with Jake. It was all a bit confusing, and to be honest, it made Jake’s head hurt a bit.

After about twenty minutes, Jake decided to get up and play with his dog Halley. To be honest, it might as well have been ‘Harley’, because that is what it sounded like whenever Jake said the name of the dog. Now, Halley was not dissimilar to a wolf. She had many of the same characteristics, and even Jake had thought for the longest time that his dog was part wolf. This was not the case, as Jake’s grandma had revealed. It was still unknown what breed the dog was, but no matter, the dog still quite loved.

After playing with the dog for about half an hour, Jake went to start on the homework that had been neglected until that moment. He would be lying if he said that he hadn’t thought of Dirk at all. The blonde haired boy had crossed his mind several times, but was promptly ignored, as Jake was doing homework.

Once Jake was done with homework, he sat down on his bed. “Maybe he could be a good friend, that Dirk fellow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I'll try to complete the next one in a more timely manner.


End file.
